Mind Your Age
This is my birthday week, so I’m looking forward to the party… but sometimes after a big sha-bang, there’s an age “hangover” that sets in as we look at our rising number and wonder about our future.
After having celebrated my Dad’s 90th earlier this year, I’ve become more optimistic and, with the tools of the mind, the upcoming years seem more like an exciting journey rather than a forced march of time. Here are a few tips from the subconscious mind that might help you too.
Listen to yourself (over and over again)
Don’t you hate it when you’re talking to someone and they don’t listen? Here’s a big question – have you listened to yourself lately?
The way we talk to ourselves greatly influences the way we feel and think about ourselves. When we put ourselves down, use nasty language on our (in)abilities, “should” all over ourselves, we create a perfect environment for our focus to reinforce our negative internal/external words.
I’m not saying that you need to swing to toxic positivity (“it’s ALL sunshine and unicorns, so I can’t feel badly”) because your words can be an important indicator that things are NOT quite right.
However, you might want to watch for these negative-talk patterns: absolutes (always/never – really?), boundary violations (have to/should, no choice at all – don’t you have the power of choice, just a bit even?) or victimhood (a story where you weren’t or are not the hero – you’ve made it this far in spite of many challenges). The subconscious mind will take your words and create a habit around them.
Listen to yourself and you might see speech that starts to create a self-fulfilling prophecy. (One that you never really wanted).
And these suggestions get stronger with repetition, so the more you repeat them, the firmer they set in your mind and your life.
Instead, might I suggest that you speak to yourself as you would a learning child – as if all the suggestions were getting sponged in for the future (because they are). What messages would your learner rather hear? The voice in your head is a good place to start.
Find your greatest “future” role models
The subconscious mind is the imaginative mind. What we focus on tends to create a possibility for our future using this amazing power.
We’ve all laughed at “old people” jokes (I can’t remember why I came into a room…), but as you noticed above, this creeps into our inner speech and gives us a misperception about aging.
Yet how many historic and current examples are there of age in its best forms?
I just looked at a Denise Austin clip for an easy ab exercise. Yes, I’d love to be that fit at 67. But it’s more than that – I can look past the surface and see a businesswoman as well.
What are characteristics that are important for you going forward? Are there examples of others who have the attributes, strengths, skills or focus that you’d like to either acquire or enhance over the next decades?
When we have these success “case studies” at hand, the mind finds it much easier to connect to and create a positive and progressive story of aging, rather than feeling like a negative punchline.
Get an emotional face-lift
Heard of laugh lines, or frown lines? The expressions of our feelings have an impact on our outer being.
Emotions have a physical impact on a deeper level as well. Using a “nervous tummy” as a starting point, people who have internalized and carried feelings for extended periods of time sometimes exhibit physical challenges because of those held beliefs, perceptions or feelings.
While emotions have no physical “weight”, over time they often feel almost too heavy to carry. Past hurts or disloyalties, embarrassment or shame, regret over decisions or mistakes, broken relationships… they all add up. And they may feel like a thousand-pound rock – impossible to shift.
But the mind, when shifted just a little, leverages change that seems almost magical. Hypnosis allows us to release parts of our past that may no longer work for us, and helps us automate patterns that move us in a direction we want.
The bonus is that often clients will emerge from a session looking (and feeling) years younger. You think the camera puts on 10 pounds; well hypnosis seems to release 10 years!
Exercise your Rights… and more self-care
At my Dad’s 90th, I discovered that many of the nonagenarians at the celebration were more active and connected than I was! They went on daily walks or spent time in the pool. They worked in the garden or did some balance and flexibility work. They were continuing to exercise their right to move their body and it showed.
We tend “lose it” if we don’t use it. And while it seems like a big hill to climb if you’ve backslid in one form or another, taking progressive steps can build habits (like the compounding of words we speak to ourselves).
So, if it’s a 2 minute longer walk, an extra glass of hydration, 15 minutes more sleep tonight, or one more veg on the plate, its collective nature turns you towards health rather than inertia. I usually say “underachieve every day, rather than overachieve never!”
Supporting your body, supports your mind – that old disconnect between the two doesn’t hold anymore. And when you support your mind… yup, you support your body.
Once you start one, that virtuous cycle starts and reinforces your care for yourself. And the subconscious aligns with those little habits as “the way things are now”, automating them to become even more easy.
One big Network…
As I mentioned earlier, the subconscious mind works by association.
If we share supportive words with others and ourselves, this continues an internal positive conversation.
If we surround ourselves with aspirational examples – in real life or in our imagination/online/history – our mind tends to aim in those directions.
If we grant ourselves the grace of leaving some of the past behind, we have more space or energy to listen, in the present, for advice from our feelings and inner guidance.
If we support our physical selves as well as our mental, emotional and spiritual levels, we activate the power that we want and need for the future.
Each of these ideas flow and compound and augment each other. But we are not an island. When we connect with others, this network for good becomes even more reinforced. We see something bigger than ourselves, we grow from diversity (even when it challenges us) and we realize that while we may “stand on the shoulders of giants” from our past, we are also titans-in-progress others will learn from going into the future.
When you need support, I’d love to be an extra set of shoulders for you. And if you have any birthday or aging tips yourself, please let me know!
In the meantime, I’m looking forward to this upcoming year and beyond,
Jennifer